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Month: May 2008

Scott McClellan is still a cowardly little weasel.

Scott McClellan is still a cowardly little weasel.

I’m glad the story is finally getting out, but imagine the impact of a standing administration official resigning, not with admirable platitudes and praise for his employer, but with a sharp rebuke.

“I’m resigning because I no longer have faith in my ability to give the American people the information necessary to support their faith in the democratic process. I’ve been lied to, threatened, and strong-armed. I will not do it any longer. My continued employment has become the fulcrum upon which the balance of power and privilege has settled.

I cannot participate in the propaganda and active cover-up that the Bush administration continues to pursue. I believe that anything less than full disclosure and immediate disassociation will result in the eventual criminal prosecution of all administration officials and of each of those who are complicit in their secrecy, lies, and pardons.”

Yes, Mr McClellan, you’ve established the idea that you didn’t agree. Now how about telling us why you waited several years to come clean. You victimized the American people for years. Now you’ve written a book about it. Our morbid curiosity will make it a best seller, but your common decency should make it a free re-examination of the automaton-robot culture that popularity contest politics eventually degrade into.

Violent criminals are generally barred from profiting from their crimes when a book or movie deal is struck. Political criminals should have the same restrictions. The only way you get to make money is if you blow the whistle on a crime in progress. But once you’ve successfully distanced yourself from any type of prosecution and finally decide to let us all in on the crimes in which you were complicit, any decent society should shun you until it’s clear you’re not attempting to remain relevant long past your initial lucky break.

She’s Lost the Race…

She’s Lost the Race…

… and lost her mind.

I have friends who have expressed concern for Obama’s safety and worry about him getting assassinated.  Friends bringing it up in conversation is way different than Hillary bringing it up in a television interview. 

You’ve got to wonder what is going on in her head?  All of the candidates knew the party nomination rules when they entered the race.  They knew the race would be decided by delegate votes.  The candidate that was most effective campaigning for delegates now has an insurmountable lead.  No matter how she tries to spin the numbers, she’s still behind.

So why is she staying in the race?  She’s lagging behind waiting for an assassination?

Mr. Fish has another great comic about the race.  Go read it now.

Last week in politics

Last week in politics

First, honk if you like bumper sticker politics:
appeasement Last week in politics

1. GWB tells Israel that Obama is going to cause the next holocaust.

2. Hard Ball host Chris Matthews challenges a loud-mouthed, flock-jock, talk(ing points) radio host and republican party line parrot to back up his words with a little substance. I swear to god I haven’t seen this kind of hard-line reporting technique since John Stossel in the `80s.

3. Former White House mouthpiece takes extreme pride in fucking doing his job:

4. Speaking of White House mouthpieces, this idiot just needs to die.

5. Walking in apparent lockstep momentum with the republican stupidity landslide (the kind that threatens to destroy structural foundations and is generally caused by poor urban planning and overcrowding of popular real estate), Mike Huckabee conflates government regulation of industry and government interference in our personal lives to pander to “self-government” activists. Also makes a joke about pro-gun morons assassinating liberal political hopefuls. Just let me say now, FUCK YOU YOU FUCKING FUCK PIECE OF SHIT ASSHOLE MORON. Also, I hate Mike Huckabee.

6. For which he later apologized. Even the republican party is beginning to understand the breadth, depth, and kinetic energy of its own stupidity.

If the democrats don’t win this time I’m just going to acquire a heroin habit. If this reality is so ludicrous, the alternate one has got to be better.

George Bush – “TERRIERIST”

George Bush – “TERRIERIST”

From Amy Goodman’s interview with Gore Vidal on DEMOCRACY NOW!

AMY GOODMAN: You wrote two books during the Bush administration. Two of the books you’ve written are Perpetual War for Perpetual Peace and Dreaming War. Why these two?

GORE VIDAL: Well, Perpetual War for Perpetual Peace, that’s my main book during that period. That was the foreign policy of the Bush administration: perpetual war. This was also Harry Truman’s dream. He started the Cold War. If any history had been imparted to our people, they’d know all this. And if you think I enjoy having to be the one to tell them about it, I don’t.

AMY GOODMAN: And what about Dreaming War?

GORE VIDAL: Well, same thing. They were dreaming war. You can see little Bush all along was just dreaming of war, and also Cheney dreaming about oil wells and how you knock apart a country like Iraq and of course their oil will pay for the damage you do. For that alone, he should have been put in front of a firing squad.

AMY GOODMAN: Do you believe in the death penalty?

GORE VIDAL: No. But in their case, yes.

AMY GOODMAN: And so, here we are, moved into the sixth year of the war with Iraq, longer than the US was involved in World War II.

GORE VIDAL: Yes, incredible. That was such a huge operation on two great continents against two modern enemies. And we’re fighting little jungle wars for no reason, because we have a president who knows nothing about anything. He’s just blank. But he wants to show off: ‘I’m a wartime president! I’m a wartime president!’ He goes yap, yap, yap. He’s like a crazed terrier. And look where he got us.

I didn’t realize—I think I’ve always had a good idea about my native land, but I didn’t think that institutionally we were so easy to overthrow, because it was a coup d’etat, 9/11. The whole went crashing. And when we got rid of—when they got rid of Magna Carta, I thought, well, really, this wasn’t much of a republic to begin with.

Why it’s good luck to wear your underwear inside out

Why it’s good luck to wear your underwear inside out

The cool thing is that when you wear your underwear inside out…

Now you get to wear that pair twice. Here’s why you won’t go to hell for it.

1st time you wear them, and they’re inside out:

Bloomers_image_cutout-300x189 Why it's good luck to wear your underwear inside out
Undies, panties, underwear, pants, knickers, underpants

Say you get in an accident and someone notices you have your panties on inside out. You’re dying and the priest who’s giving you last rights asks you to confess all your sins. Toward the end of your list, he looks at you and says, “and, my dear, you’ve worn those panties two days in a row. All you did was turn them inside out so you could get away with it.” You can honestly say “no, it was dark. I, I, sputter, I wear my panties inside out for good luck…arrrrr*cough*gasp.” You’re not lying, therefore you won’t go to hell.

2nd time you wear them (obviously the first scenario didn’t happen if this case ever comes):

You get into an accident and they strip you down to put a tourniquet on your gushing femoral. They don’t even notice the dirty undies since they’re soaked in blood and whatever else might be coming out of you at the moment. And since they’re right side out, there’s really no question as to their cleanliness. Last rights are administered and before your last gasping breath, you say “I wore my panties twice.” No hell for you. Plus, he’s obligated by god and the government to never tell your mom.

If you survive the day…

If you get luckier than simply not ending up in hell, there is a strong possibility that those dirty underwear have accumulated a significant deposit of personal body odors from various sources. A non-insignificant portion of the population have a pleasant, possibly arousing, reaction to their own stench. In fact, there is evidence that our brain chemistry changes a little when we’re aroused and things we find absolutely disgusting when we are in our right mind get a pass when we’re horny. So, lucky you! Those stinky, dirty, crusty and stiff panties you’ve been excusing yourself for because “it’s lucky to wear your underwear inside out!” might actually give you a libidinal boost as you’re getting undressed for bed.

A quickie with your own hand is a perfect way to end the day. Sleep tight.

Our Uncool, Unpopular President Don’t Golf No More

Our Uncool, Unpopular President Don’t Golf No More

Seriously.  From Mike Allen’s interview of George W. Bush today:

For the first time, Bush revealed a personal way in which he has tried to acknowledge the sacrifice of soldiers and their families: He has given up golf.

“I don’t want some mom whose son may have recently died to see the commander in chief playing golf,” he said. “I feel I owe it to the families to be in solidarity as best as I can with them. And I think playing golf during a war just sends the wrong signal.”

…and about global warming:

“I could have supported a lousy [Kyoto] treaty and everybody would have went, ‘Oh, man, what a wonderful-sounding fellow he is,’” Bush said. “But it just wouldn’t have worked.

“I don’t think you want your president trying to be the cool guy and not end up with policies that actually make a difference. So the policies I’ve outlined are policies that will actually make a difference: nuclear power for generating electricity, battery driven cars, ethanol.”

…and on the Middle East:

— He criticized former President Jimmy Carter for suggesting an approach to Middle East involvement that Bush described as “if you want to be popular in the Middle East, just go blame Israel for every problem.”

“That will make you popular,” he said. “Popularity is fleeting. … Principles are forever.”

You’ve really got to wonder if he’s back on the bottle.

Crossroad Blues

Crossroad Blues

robertjohnson Crossroad Blues

Robert Johnson b. May 8, 1911

Crossroad Blues

I went down to the crossroad
 fell down on my knees
I went down to the crossroad
 fell down on my knees
Asked the lord above “Have mercy now
 save poor Bob if you please”
Yeeooo, standin at the crossroad
 tried to flag a ride
ooo ooo eee
 I tried to flag a ride
Didn’t nobody seem to know me babe
 everybody pass me by
Standin at the crossroad babe
 risin sun goin down
Standin at the crossroad babe
 eee eee eee, risin sun goin down
I believe to my soul now,
 Poor Bob is sinkin down
You can run, you can run
 tell my friend Willie Brown
You can run, you can run
 tell my friend Willie Brown
(th)’at I got the crossroad blues this mornin Lord
 babe, I’m sinkin down
And I went to the crossroad momma
 I looked east and west
I went to the crossroad baby
 I looked east and west
Lord, I didn’t have no sweet woman
 ooh-well babe, in my distress

Much more information about this legendary bluesman available here.

What I Learned from the Indiana and N.C. Primaries

What I Learned from the Indiana and N.C. Primaries

Barack Hussein Obama is the Democratic candidate for the President of the United States of America.

Jonathan Schwarz thought about that and put up a post on This Modern World:

It’s September 12, 2001. You’re sitting in front of a TV, watching footage of the World Trade Center collapse over and over and over again.

All of a sudden, someone from seven years in the future walks out of a tiny temporal vortex, and tells you: George W. Bush is going to fuck this up so badly that in 2008, the United States of America will likely elect as president a black man whose middle name is Hussein and whose father was Muslim. Oh, and he also admits he’s used cocaine.

I think it would have been easier to convince me of the reality of time travel. “No, no, I believe you really are from the future. But the other stuff, that’s CRAZY.”

Of course Hillary Clinton hasn’t admitted to herself that she’s so far behind now that, even if she is granted her wish to have the “disputed” delegates from Florida and Michigan counted in her favor, she won’t be able to overcome her deficit in both pledged delegates and the popular vote in the remaining primaries.  Phil Singer, one of her own campaign spokesmen, estimates that even in a best-case scenario, she’d still be about 100 delegates behind. 

Clinton will fight on regardless.  She says she’s “staying in this race until there is a nominee,” and has decided to loan another $6,000,000 of her own money to her campaign fund.

So what are going to see from now until the nomination that’s already been decided is decided?  Garbage time.

Yes… Hillary is like a player in an NBA series that is already down three games and is eleven points behind with 14.8 seconds to go.  Intentional fouls are ugly things, but that’s what we’re going to have to watch for the next few weeks.  Obama will fend them off and shoot his free throws in the remaining contests.  If he misses a shot here and there, Hillary might close the gap a little bit, but she’s not going to win.

Hillary will probably continue to hack away at Obama and attempt to prove to the superdelegates that she, in spite of what we voters have decided, is the better candidate for president. 

She’s not the better candidate, but she could be a better opponent.  

All she has to do is look at the bigger picture.  She’s a Democrat and the real battle ahead is with the Republicans.  She could choose to focus her attacks on John McCain while she runs out the clock on her campaign.  She could explain why it would be terribly wrong to vote for a man that wants to appoint more Supreme Court justices like Roberts and Alito; that it’s a bad idea to vote for a man that doesn’t have a plan to end the war in Iraq; that voting for a man who wants to make the Bush tax cuts permanent will lead to larger budget deficits and greater income inequality; and that voting for a man that thinks free markets will solve all are problems will not get us on the pat the universal healthcare.

We’ll soon find out how she chooses to play the game.

Politics and Religion… and Race

Politics and Religion… and Race

Mr. Fish illustrated the unnatural combination of politics and religion perfectly in this week’s comic featuring a caricature of Barack Obama.  Go read it now and then come back here.

Mr. Fish could make the same point with any of the candidates running for president.  All he’d have to do is replace Obama with McCain and add statements made by James Agee, or replace him with Clinton and mention her former pastor who was recently convicted of molesting a seven-year-old girl or her membership in The Fellowship.

All the candidates would be well advised to lay off each others’ ties to religious figures and religious organizations.  Counter attacks are too easy and, no matter how much the media chooses to focus on it, religion isn’t supposed to have anything to do with who we choose to be our president.  What’s supposed to matter is what the candidates themselves say and do.

The real story isn’t that these candidates are Christians and attend churches.  The real story is about how the media’s coverage is driven by race.

Read E. J. Dionne, Jr. today.