He is 61 years old today, and he’s made an announcement about his future plans.
I have informed Princeton that I will be retiring at the end of next academic year, that is, in June 2015. In August 2015 I will join the faculty of the Graduate Center, City University of New York, as a professor in the Ph.D. program in economics. I will also become a distinguished scholar at the Graduate Center’s Luxembourg Income Study Center.
Read all about it here.
You are now chatting with Lorena, an AT&T sales representative.
Lorena: Welcome to AT&T online Feature Sales. How may I assist you with your features today?
Tony: I’m only using about 10% of my data plan. How can I choose a cheaper plan?
Lorena: I’d be happy to help you with our features today, Tony. Which data plan do you have now?
Tony: Or, if it’s possible, how can I add data and device tethering so that I can drop my home internet and just tether to my phone?
Tony: It looks like I’ve got Data Pro 2GB LTE
Tony: for iPhone
Lorena: The tethering/hotspot data plan is the 5GB for $50 if you wanted to do that. If you want to lower your data plan, we do have the 300MB for $20 that you can switch to. You wouldn’t be able to tether/hotspot with your phone unless you have the 5GB.
Tony: hm. No, I guess that’s not a better option. I get unlimited data via my cable provider for $47.
Tony: so it’s $25 for 2gb and $20 for 300mb?
Lorena: That’s correct. The 2GB data plan is no longer available though so once you switch from it, you won’t be bale to get it back.
Tony: what is available now?
Tony: The only option I see is the one I currently have.
Lorena: The 300MB for $20 and the 3GB for $30.
Tony: huh. that’s crappy.
Tony: Is there any way for you to look at my plan and usage and suggest something that could save me money?
Lorena: We actually do not have access to the accounts through chat since we are guides. We are available to assist you with managing your account online and changing features online through the self-service system. Which other plans and features do you have?
Tony: What’s the cheapest iPhone plan available?
Lorena: Do you like to text?
Tony: I’ve probably got a year left on my current contract.
Tony: Well, yeah, but text plans are more expensive than they’re worth. If it saves me money I can start using Facebook messaging.
Tony: Can you tell me what the cheapest iPhone plan is?
Lorena: Well, if you did the 450 Nation Talk Plan with the 300MB data plan, you’re looking at $59.99 a month before taxes without any messaging. Unlimited Messaging is $20 if you wanted to add it.
Lorena: Do you have just one line on your account?
Lorena: Thank you. Do you know which voice plan you have?
Tony: So, I have $25 data, $5 text. My current charges before taxes and fees is $80./
Tony: If I drop the data to 300mb and ditch the text plan, that would still only bring me down to $70.
Lorena: Do you know which voice plan you have?
Tony: Do you know where on the website I can find that?
Lorena: Do you see the myAT&T tab at the top? Please mouse over the word “Wireless” below it. You’ll see a drop box appear and you can select “Change Rate Plan” from there.
Tony: Oh, I have Family Talk Nation 550 with Rollover.
Lorena: Thank you. That’s odd. We can certainly switch you to an individual plan if you have just the 1 line on your account.
Tony: That appears t be the cheapest.
Tony: Can you do that right now or is it something I need to do on the website?
Lorena: Our Care chat is available now to do the switch for you since I do not have access to the accounts through this chat.
Tony: I don’t know what that means.
Lorena: The 450 Nation Talk Plan would be the smallest voice plan for individuals and is $20 less than the 550. Would you like to change your data plan before I transfer you over?
Tony: Oh man. That would be great! I didn’t realize I was paying $20 more than I need to. I almost never talk on the phone.
Lorena: Ok! I can certainly transfer you over so our Customer Care team can change your plan for you. Would you like to change your data plan before I transfer you over?
Tony: No, if I can save $20 by changing my voice plan I don’t need the $5 extra to have a crappy data plan.
Lorena: Alrighty. Give me just a moment to transfer you over.
Tony: Thank you!
Please wait while I transfer you to an operator at AT&T Wireless Customer Care.
Welcome! You are now chatting with ‘Chara Cooper’.
Chara Cooper: Hello Tony
Tony: Hi Chara.
Chara Cooper: thank you for chatting in with me today
Chara Cooper: how can i help you?
Tony: You’re welcome.
Chara Cooper: so How can i do you tonight my dear.
Tony: So Lorena was helping come up with a way to minimize the total cost of my plan based on my usage. She said that there’s a cheaper voice plan than what I’ve got and I’m paying $20 more than I need to since I rarely actually use my phone as a phone.
Tony: She suggested the 450 Nation Talk plan.
Chara Cooper: what kind of phone do you have Tony?
Tony: Is that the cheapest voice plan?
Chara Cooper: okay, what kind of phone do you have?
Tony: It’s an iPhone 5.
Chara Cooper: okay so you can get a regular nation plan, but because you have a smartpone you are required to have a data plan with that.
Chara Cooper: yes because it is a smart phone
Tony: Well, yeah. If I could have data only that’s what I’d go with. My phone is rarely at my ear. Is there a plan that drops voice service?
Chara Cooper: LOL:) no honey.
Chara Cooper: that would be nice though.
Tony: If not, I just want to know what is the cheapest voice plan I have to agree to.
Tony: My bill starts out at $80 a month right now. When I got my first iPhone that was $60. But I can’t find a way to get it back down to $60 on the website.
Chara Cooper: tony pleas give me your cell number area code first
Tony: ###-##-GLOOM, if that helps.
Tony: I gotta hurry through this. My kids are exploiting my distraction to stay up past their bed time.
Chara Cooper: :))) thats funny and cute
Chara Cooper: whats the last four digits of your social please?
Chara Cooper: thank you Tony.
Tony: Is it against the rules for you to just tell me which is the cheapest voice plan? Because that’s all I really need to know. I just want to switch to the government mandated minimum plan since I hate talking on the phone and only put up with people calling me because having the internet in my pocket makes me all powerful.
Chara Cooper: okay Tony Im looking at your account
Chara Cooper: and i do see that you are on the 550 plan
Chara Cooper: you can move to the 450
Chara Cooper: and keep the data pro
Tony: and save $20?
Chara Cooper: is that absolutely.
Chara Cooper: i meant
Chara Cooper: absolutely!!!
Tony: ok. do it.
Chara Cooper: okay sure.
Tony: Also, block calls from my ex girlfriend.
Chara Cooper: :)))) too bad for her.
Chara Cooper: lol!!
Chara Cooper: you men are funny
Tony: Just kidding. All of my exes love me.
Tony: Well there’s this one who still hates me.
Chara Cooper: are you an aries
Chara Cooper: or a sagittarius
Tony: If I give you her name can you block her?
Tony: No. The opposite. Virgo.
Tony: Ok, I gotta get out of here. The kids are taking over the asylum.
Tony: You got me taken care of?
Tony: Or is there something else I need to do?
Chara Cooper: illl text you the information
Chara Cooper: good night
Tony: cool. Thanks, Chara!
Tony: Have a good night.
Chara Cooper: your welcome
Chara Cooper: I will send a trext to confirm that the plan has been changed for you to nation 450
Tony: great. thanks for your help and your sense of humor
Chara Cooper: your welcome.
As long as we are on the subject of highly profitable corporations, here’s a comic by Mr. Fish…
… to remind us that corporations are not people, and they are inherently psychopathic. They can also live forever while they accumulate massive amounts of wealth.
Once the White House is Romney’s home, how will official White House procedure mesh with his religious convictions? Besides the obvious – Will the White House include reproductive health coverage in its insurance package? – as an ex-Mormon, I have a few other questions that have popped up in recent months.
1. Would coffee or tea be served to guests and staff? Would the Romneys keep these items in their home? Will there be religious exemptions (PDF^) to common courtesy when he’s in charge? Will they revise the presidential portraits to reflect the time-immemorial No Smoking policy of the White House?
2. Would he appoint czars posthumously? Would they get back pay? If so, will 10% tithing be surrendered to the Church (as they likely have already been posthumously converted).
3. Will we ever watch a televised address without picturing him in his underwear? Also, is the White House cleaners going to be specially outfitted for handling the family’s special undies?
4. In accordance with not only Church doctrine, but also The Ten Commandments, will he take Sundays off? Will the staff? Not that any other politician who waves the Ten Commandments in our faces every election cycle has ever held themselves to the morals they want to enforce upon the rest of us, but it only takes one theocrat to set a precedent!
5. Does he plan to serve breakfast, lunch, and/or dinner on the first Sunday of each month – “Fast Sunday“? This is the day, once a month, where all Mormon children begin to formulate their opposition to their parents’ indoctrination. So I don’t blame the Romneys if this is one of those tenets they overlook when they’re cherry-picking what to wear on their sleeve and what not to.
6. Is Monday going to remain “Family Home Evening?” I actually liked this part, but it was hard even for my single mom to indulge us with once a week. It’s got to be tough for a busy, busy President.
7. To what extent will he live up to his obligations of service to the Church? Will he be given a political exemption by the Church? Maybe he gets work credit as long as he’s doing LDS leadership curriculum-approved work.
8. Will his Bishop have top-secret clearance in order to hear his confessions? To whom will he confess his war crimes?
9. Will the Church allow non-Mormon Secret Service Officers into the Temple, or will they all be required to be members in good standing, with Temple Recommends? Wouldn’t that violate federal hiring guidelines?
10. And finally, having nothing to do with his White House policies, will he be sworn in on a copy of the Book of Mormon? If so, will it be as it was originally revealed by God to the Prophet Joseph Smith? Or will it be the heavily edited and revised version that Mormons currently call the literal Word of God?
I look forward to finding the answers to these questions and more once our crack journalists and Edward R. Murrow (PDF^) inspired media outlets have a chance to do their jobs. But now that I think of it, I wouldn’t care about the answers to any of these questions if the media were doing its job.
After you’ve finished battling stampeding, pepper spraying Black Friday shoppers in search of the best shopping deals you can find, take some time out to celebrate Evacuation Day. Here’s Sarah Vowell on The Daily Show to give you the details of this post-Thanksgiving holiday.
This one made me laugh.
That’s Annie Lobert, former Las Vegas prostitute, now proselytizer for Jesus. Meredith Viera did the interview for The Today Show. You can watch it here.
This is from the Hookers for Jesus website:
Buckle up, baby!
Hookers for Jesus is an international organization that addresses the realities of human sex trafficking, sexual violence, and exploitation linked to pornography and the sex industry. We are committed to reaching out to children/teens/women that need assistance/escape from sex slavery. Our urban ministry outreach, community awareness, and transitional housing program, The Destiny House, is based out of Las Vegas, Nevada.
Thank you Mr. Fish for searing images into my brain of a camouflaged genitals and American GI’s traversing a hairy ass.
I’ve always thought war was way more disgusting than romantic, and now… even more so.