10 things I don’t get this holiday season
10. Are new-age hippies really as insane as they look?
9. Why hasn’t the US jumped on the ultra-efficient LED bandwagon?
8. Shopping mayhem. Makes me hate this holiday.
7. Fucking stay home if you can’t shop like a reasonable human being. Give crafts, hugs, cookies, promises, words on paper. Just don’t shop, you savage, reptile-brain Neanderthal.
6. When carbon monoxide is inhaled, it takes the place of oxygen in haemoglobin, binding several hundred times more strongly than oxygen, and has cumulative and long-lasting effects, causing oxygen starvation throughout the body. It’s pretty simple, really: Don’t run your barbeque in your house to stay warm.
5. How is it we get all the snow and these people don’t?
4. Did anybody not expect Miss Nevada to expose her breasts and simulate oral sex on other women? I think the surprise was the pictures someone posted on the web.
3. This:
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2. But I do get this:
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1. But mostly I don’t get how anybody ever supported George Bush.
