Did you know that in one scene in Three Men and a Baby that you can see Obama standing in the window?

You can die from eating Pop Rocks when listening to Obama

The call was coming from inside Obama’s house!

I know this guy who was making out with his girlfriend one night under a tree and they heard a news report about some crazy man with a hook and the girl started getting all freaked out and she told the guy to just take her home and he was all like you’re being stupid but he drove away and when they got home there was a hook in their rear bumper attached to a hand and you’ll never guess whose hand it was. That’s right. It was Obama’s. Think about it. Just think about it. Can you say prosthetic right hand? I can. Prosthetic right hand. See?

I heard that he has a black baby. And he will also force me to have an abortion and marry Teh Gehy.

If you say his name three times, the taxman will steal your LeRoy Nieman painting!!1!

Obama once microwaved a burrito so hot that even he couldn’t eat it

I know he’s an elitist because he drives a diamond-encrusted Mercedes!

If you play any of his speeches while watching the Wizard of Oz, they match up! Its eerie.

A gas station attendant tried to warn me Obama was hiding in my back seat with a knife.

My Doberman choked on two of Obama’s fingers, so I’m getting a kick out of these replies.

I heard if you play the White album backwards, you’ll know his secret plans.

I heard that if you look up the domain owner on the interNIC, it is the Freemasons.

Obama cut off his own finger and put it in my Wendy’s Chili!

I heard one time a guy went to an Obama convention in Las Vegas and afterwards picked up a hooker. But he got chloroformed and when he woke up he was lying in a bathtub full of ice. And get this. His flag lapel pin was missing!!!

Obama and his family have a long-standing relationship with the House of Saud, and manipulates national policy to guarantee our future dependence on Saudi oil.

His hairstyle is a signal to the Illuminati.

If he uses his trunk to hold onto a feather he can FLY WITH HIS EARS!

I woke up one morning in Kenya in a tub of ice, and Obama had stolen my kidneys.

I hear if you forward certain emails, Obama will track them and send you money!

I heard he terrorizes neighborhood children by throwing flaming tennis balls on Devil’s Night.

B Hussein used the leftover campaign money from his time in the Illinois Senate to fund the USS Cole bombing.

It’s Obama he’s in it with the aliens…their building landing strips for Ghey Martians…I sear to GOD….I like you Barrack…your not like the other people here on capitol hill…

I heard that if you drink Obama’s kool-aid with a mouthful of pop-rocks your head will explode.

There are operatives everywhere….there bugging my phones and sending me signals……and i bet..(puts on glasses) …YEP You are one of them too!!!

I hope this site addresses his Terrorist Fist Bump. That one’s got me nervous!

I got a call from the Obama Campaign last night. When I called the operator back afterward to find the location of the campaign office they were calling from, the operator told me that the call was coming from INSIDE MY HOUSE.

In accordance with Sharia Law, every day that Obama wears a flag pin, he must burn a real American flag. This is what he’s talking about when he says he’s been smoking again.

Obama had his mother’s head put into cryogenic stasis and it’s being kept in a secret chamber beneath Cinderella’s Castle in Disney World.

I’m sure there’s at least a couple of Obama campaign related people on here anyway.

I just looked this up on Snopes.com and it’s false.

I heard Obama causes autism.

I heard that Obama is going to reform the court system and force all Republicans to prove their innocence a la The Running Man.

It wasn’t a tornado that killed those scouts….it was Obama’s ninja code monkey army…the scouts were about to out his Manchurian campaign status…

That’s ridiculous. It’s obvious that God is punishing Iowa for making it possible for a black Muslim to be President.

Obama autopsied me in Area 51

I heard to be able to make those great speeches, he had to trade for a small penis. The devil shows no mercy.

In Obama’s plan, every Republican must also perform Running Man tasks while speaking with foreign accents.

Barack Obama once met a girl hitchhiking on a dark night. She wore a slim thread tied around her neck like a necklace. Eventually, they fell in love, married, and raised a family. In all that time, he never saw her without the thread, but the one time he asked her about it, she told him never to ask her again. As he loved her, he complied, though he did wonder from time to time.

Many years later, when they were both quite old, and she was on her deathbed, she told him “Barack, I want you to remove the thread I wear” – so he did.

And her head fell off.

Obama and I once lived together and were stars of our own television show, and everyone always loved him. He got all the fan mail. So one day, after getting a big bag of fan mail that was all for him, I broke down and sobbed. He comforted me to no avail. No one loved me! But then, he offered to make me PRESIDENT!.. of his fan club. Which I accepted. I had to read his fan mail and write responses.

After a day of reading how everyone loved him (including one person who had a bed-wetting problem) I couldn’t sleep anymore. My thoughts that night: “I… I was nice today. NICE to all of those insipid little monkeys, answering their STUPID letters. My hands… DIRTY! *scrubs hands* THE DIRT WON’T COME OFF!… President! What a joke. President! President of what? HIS fan club! How they love him! Look at him, lying there asleep. The idol of millions… he is a FOOL! Lying silly little fool. How easily I end the farce… with these hands! These DIRTY HANDS! AND WITH THESE HANDS I HOLD THE FATE OF MILLIONS! They think he’s a god, but he’s as mortal as we. I KNOW! Just one quick TWIST… then it’s over. Just one!”… after a brief psychotic episode, I passed out. And then I awoke in a heap the next morning.

That morning, I told the mailman to stop sending the damned fan mail, but he only had one letter… written to me. I rubbed it in his face that day: “You! You and your fan mail, Mr. Fan Club. Everyone loves you, don’t they? Well, guess what the mailman brought for you today? NOTHING!! This letter’s for me! You, they have forgotten! Now it is me they love. It is I who am most loved! It is I who shall rule! You see? This is the proof that you are finished! *Opens letter* Listen! Listen to what it says. ‘Dear nevirus: – That’s me, that’s me! – You are my favorite TV star.’ Are you getting this? It’s me they love! I am king! ‘When I grow up, I want to be just like you.’ How about that? A man with some ambition! ‘You are my favorite person in the whole world. Love – He says love – Your friend… Obama?’”

Boy, I felt like a horse’s ass that day.

Obama has provocative websites in his browser’s cache on his work laptop.

I heard Barack Obama is half white because he regularly bathes in the blood of young white virgins.

I heard Obama claim that his cats breath smelled like cat food.

Obama keeps a flask of 151 on him at all times which is why he’s always yelling during speeches.