Jerry Falwell is Dead
And while I think it’s tacky to celebrate anyone’s death at any time, I’m going to get a little tacky today.
Dear Mr. Falwell,
Your contribution to the society I shared with you was an unforgivable combination of unity-in-hatred among some of the more virulent religious right and a lowering of the bar for public discourse to the point where Americans, in the aftermath of the most terrifying and deadly events in my lifetime, were placing blame on a narrowly defined sinfulness attributed to anyone with whose definition of sin they disagreed.
Your contribution is like getting caught covering up a lie. You can’t undo the lie, and the coverup has just solidified the notion that you’re deceitful. All we can do is accept it as part of the past and try to create a different kind of unity. One that brings us together in times of trouble. One that won’t tolerate the things you taught.
Sincerely,
Tony
Secondly…
Dear God,
Thank you for killing this asshole. I hope the hell you have prepared for him is every bit as bad as he portrayed it.
Regards,
Tony
edit: feel free to leave your own additions to this eulogy in the comments.
P.S. (to God) The one death celebration I wouldn’t think tacky is that of Fred Phelps. Please take him next.
A while back I made a wish and didn’t tell anyone about it for fear that it wouldn’t come true. (You can all thank me.) I am still waiting on a long list, but I am patient.
Hmmm, the news reports mention that he had been struggling with with heart problems…
So, maybe just wishing isn’t enough.
I wonder if I can think of someone else who has been struggling with heart problems and make a wish for him too?
Do things like this really happen in 3s.
Let’s see if we can come up with some characteristics to be on the look out for:
High-profile, Right-wing, Religious Zealot with heart condition dies abruptly.
Let’s keep our eyes out for 2 more of these to drop like flies…
He died alone and I hope to God it was painful. I can sleep better tonight knowing he’s burning in hell.
You know, I really wished I believed in Heaven and Hell. Because then, I could commit a buttload of atrocities just to go to hell and watch these hypocritical bastards burn.
It would be worth the suffering, just to be able to have a first hand seat to watch the worst of the worst burn. All the evangelicals that preach hate, all the extremists who sanction violence…
Unfortunately, I am of a more cyclical mind… So at least I know the damage they have done can start to be repaired now that they aren’t continually tearing at the wound.
I have permanently maked the calendar on my palm the day that Jerry Falwell died. It is a day I plan to celebrate yearly with alcohol cook outs and song.
Also I have marked on my calendar when Reagan died, and Pope John Paul… Ie RDD I have been celebrating RDD (REAGAN DEATH DAY) for many years.
DING DONG THE WITCH IS DEAD!
While I have to look fondly disapproving in your general direction, I would love it if you added Bush Out Day to your new set of Ameripagan holidays. 1-20-2009 here we come!!!!