Once the White House is Romney’s home, how will official White House procedure mesh with his religious convictions? Besides the obvious – Will the White House include reproductive health coverage in its insurance package? – as an ex-Mormon, I have a few other questions that have popped up in recent months.
1. Would coffee or tea be served to guests and staff? Would the Romneys keep these items in their home? Will there be religious exemptions (PDF^) to common courtesy when he’s in charge? Will they revise the presidential portraits to reflect the time-immemorial No Smoking policy of the White House?
4. In accordance with not only Church doctrine, but also The Ten Commandments, will he take Sundays off? Will the staff? Not that any other politician who waves the Ten Commandments in our faces every election cycle has ever held themselves to the morals they want to enforce upon the rest of us, but it only takes one theocrat to set a precedent!
5. Does he plan to serve breakfast, lunch, and/or dinner on the first Sunday of each month – “Fast Sunday“? This is the day, once a month, where all Mormon children begin to formulate their opposition to their parents’ indoctrination. So I don’t blame the Romneys if this is one of those tenets they overlook when they’re cherry-picking what to wear on their sleeve and what not to.
7. To what extent will he live up to his obligations of service to the Church? Will he be given a political exemption by the Church? Maybe he gets work credit as long as he’s doing LDS leadership curriculum-approved work.
8. Will his Bishop have top-secret clearance in order to hear his confessions? To whom will he confess his war crimes?
9. Will the Church allow non-Mormon Secret Service Officers into the Temple, or will they all be required to be members in good standing, with Temple Recommends? Wouldn’t that violate federal hiring guidelines?
10. And finally, having nothing to do with his White House policies, will he be sworn in on a copy of the Book of Mormon? If so, will it be as it was originally revealed by God to the Prophet Joseph Smith? Or will it be the heavily edited and revised version that Mormons currently call the literal Word of God?
I look forward to finding the answers to these questions and more once our crack journalists and Edward R. Murrow (PDF^) inspired media outlets have a chance to do their jobs. But now that I think of it, I wouldn’t care about the answers to any of these questions if the media were doing its job.