This is your average republican. This is your average republican on nuance.
Earlier today, Mitt Romney bowed out of the race for the republican nomination. Up until today, when the talking heads of the republican party, the AM radio hosts, Fox News correspondents, despicable celebrity authors, and the average, greedy, self-interested republican talked of conservative values, they simultaneously derided John McCain.
Now, if there’s one thing the last 8 years have taught me, it’s that republicans despise nuance. They find fattening self-congratulation in the simple, quotably iconic reduction of their of their perceived shared values into some sort of “common sense” dogma that goes down easier than a spoonful of heartfelt, yet nuanced beliefs.
Yeah, republicans, suck on nuance. Your heir apparent is a conservative with nuance. Fuck you for acting as though black or white were the only options. Chew on the fact that your nominee this year doesn’t suck the fundamentalist tit. Savor the nutritious reminder that a safe, balanced society requires those with strong views to allow for nuanced positions.
“Yes, I am against abortion, but I don’t think outlawing it is the most effective way of eliminating it. Yes I think we need to win in our fight against terrorist forces. But I don’t believe that keeping our forces in Iraq means we’ve prevailed. I don’t believe the “war on drugs” is working, but I don’t think that means crystal meth isn’t a scourge. ”
So suck on the bitter flavor of your weird idea that some sort of idealistic and permanent dogma can override common humanity. The rest of us have mostly believed, for a long time, that nuance is simply a requirement of being a member of human society. You’ll get used to it.
