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Ridin’ with Biden Cocktail

Ridin’ with Biden Cocktail

I trust you’ve all enjoyed drinking the Trump Fucker cocktail through the summer months. I’ve mixed dozens and served them to many friends. Everybody loves the highly alcoholic drink but hates its namesake.

Now that this brutal election season is well underway, and fall is just around the corner, it’s time for a smooth bourbon-based drink that will keep you warm and cozy while you watch the debates or while you try to forget them.

This cocktail is made from much more common spirits than the Trump cocktail. The Biden cocktail has about half the ingredients – all of which are very common and not too expensive.

Ingredients

And it’s very simple to mix. Pour the Makers, Kahlua, and Disaronno into a mixing glass half full of large ice cubes (you don’t want to water the drink down), add three dashes of chocolate bitters and stir gently for about 20 seconds. Strain the mixture into a chilled martini glass and add a maraschino cherry.

What you get is a rich, smooth mixture that tastes kind of like a Manhattan, but is darker, sweeter, and has a coffee kick and a nutty finish. It’s perfect for “Sleepy” Joe Biden.

I have tried this with rye, and found that it gives the drink a sharper taste. I also tried a couple of different bourbons but settled on Maker’s Mark, because it blends well with the two liqueurs.

Trump Fucker Cocktail Recipe

Trump Fucker Cocktail Recipe

What should you drink during the six months between now and Election Day? I think you should try my tasty new cocktail recipe that allows you to vent your frustrations with Donald Trump while you make it, laugh while you sip it and savor the complex, somewhat bittersweet orange-spice flavors that result from the perfect harmony of ingredients and the cathartic process of preparing it.

Everything you need for a Trump Fucker cocktail.

Ingredients

  • ¾ oz vodka
  • ¾ oz Ferrand Dry Curaçao (this is important – do not substitute – and it’s also great in a Mai-Tai)
  • ½ oz dark rum (Pyrat, Cayman Reef Barbados, and Kōloa Gold are good choices for dark rum. Bacardi would probably be good too)
  • ½ oz Campari
  • juice of 1/2 lime
  • juice of one whole small mandarin orange
  • 3 dashes of orange bitters

Preparation

Pour all the ingredients in a shaker about one-third full of ice cubes. Pick up the shaker and raise it to eye level. Imagine that it’s Donald Trump’s head and then shake it violently. Feel free to scream as you continue to shake it mercilessly until your hands are so cold they hurt.

Pour the drink into a old fashioned glass or rocks glass (or even an absinthe glass) with ice – preferably one large ice cube but, in a pinch, a few normal size cubes will do. The color of the drink should match the orangey hue of Donald’s spray tan.

Garnish with one or two lychee fruits and, for optimum presentation, place a blueberry in the opening of the each lychee. If you make it right, it looks like this.

A perfect Trump spray-tan color with white eye sockets.
“That fucking cocktail is such a pretty color. Reminds me of someone… Oh, right. Me! My beautiful self! So wonderful, so unbelievably wonderful looking… too bad I don’t drink, but you go right ahead and drink that beautiful cocktail. I heard it ends with a perfect, so perfect bitter aftertaste. Why is that? I wonder…” – Donald Trump